Rufus Scrimgeour is Sturgis' brother-in-law

You know, admitting that you're the person who's been setting loose murderous vampires and werewolves on innocent people isn't really a good way to get people to believe you want peace. Neither is demanding something that you don't deserve and haven't earned.

It is however a damn good way to convince people you're a tyrant and a murderer. So what kind of 'peace' do you think a man like that would offer? Not a peace I'd like to try that's for sure.

[Warded to DMLE, Joanna & Cally]

How does this bloody thing... Ha!

Rufus Scrimgeour back on the air, larger than life an’ twice as ugly!

I’ve been told about Emily so ye don’ need to tippy-toe aroun’ me about tha’. We’re goin’ ta get the bastards who killed her. I’m goin’ ta make it my life’s work. Well, when I’m no’ being a husband and a father.

Oh, bloody hell, ye don’t need ta transcribe my bloody accent, ye damn fool quill! Or write that down either!

Stupid thing.

Anyway. Important thing. As my pretty lass has said, the wedding’s still on. You’re not getting out of wearing a kilt that easy, Sturgis.

Hey, look at that. It’s started writing properly instead of in Scottish.

So come in and see me and bring case files. I’m bored and I can’t flirt with the mediwitches anymore. I’ll probably fall asleep on you anyway because they’ve got me on some great potions but we can pretend I can actually work, yeah?

[/Ward]

[Warded to Gawain]

So will your pretty lass be too upset if I take you away from her on the wedding day and ask you to be a groomsman? It was meant to be Emily but... yeah.

[/Ward]


Hospital food would be a hell of a lot more palatable if it included haggis.

( [Warded Private] )

[Warded to Sturgis & Emily]

Okay, so, Joanna and I have talked and we’re getting married on the 25th of April. We don’t want to wait. I’ve already asked Diarmad to be my best man but I wanted to ask the two of you to be groomsmen. Or a groomswoman in your case, Emily. What do you both say?

And yes, I am going to make you wear a kilt, Sturgis.

[/Ward]

[Warded to Edgar, Cally, Frank, Alastor & Gawain]

There’ll be official invitations soon enough but I thought I’d give you lot the heads up. Joanna and I have decided not to wait and we’re getting married on the 25th of April. So you’d better fucking well find my parents before then

[/Ward]

( [Warded Private] )

[Warded to Joanna]

I Fuck

They won't let me work on the case.

[/Ward]

( [Warded private] )

[Warded to Emily, Sturgis, Edgar, Gawain, Frank & Alastor]

I need a drink.

[/Ward]

( [Warded Private] )

( [Warded to Joanna, Edgar, Cally, Sturgis, Frank, Gawain & Emily] )

I miss all the good fads. Though given I don't know much about love poetry and I've never dressed Wee Jock up in any sorts of clothes, not even a kilt, I'm not sure how much I could have contributed anyway. Hopefully the next fad to sweep the journals will be one I'm better suited to join in with.

( [Warded Private] )

( [Warded Private] )

[Warded to Emily]

You're a woman, Emily. I need some womanly advice.

[/Ward]

[Warded to Joanna]

You're not going to like this but I have to ask anyway. How would you feel about a discreet protective guard?

They attacked Cally as well as Edgar. They went after Nora and Effie, not Gawain and McKinnon. They don't like me one bit, for Black, hell even for the Wilkes clusterfuck. If anything happened to you and the baby, I'd

Well, yeah. I don't want to think about that.

[/Ward]

[Warded to Senior Aurors and Hitwizards]

I've been putting together and reading the witness statements from the Quidditch attacks.

Nora Alderton and Effie McKinnon. Plus Edgar and Cally Bones the night before.

Gee, anyone else notice the links there?

[/Ward]

[Warded to Joanna]

Sorry to just bugger off like that. Was called out to Edgar's place. They were attacked by fucking Death Eaters. It's a mess and I don't know when I'll be home. Make sure the wards are up and strong, yeah?

[/Ward]

( [Warded Private] )

[Warded to Joanna]

You wanted to know when I started freaking out.

Hi. Freak out in progress.

[/Ward]

[Warded to Frank, Edgar, Stella and Calypso]

You lot might as well know the good news as well. If nothing else it'll help Frank and Edgar place their bets correctly and Cally and Stella would kill me if I didn't let them be among the first to know.

Joanna's pregnant. I'm going to be a father. And before you ask, yes, it's bloody good news and we're both happy about it. Though I am anticipating a complete freak out about the prospect of being a father at some point in the near future.

[/Ward]

( [Warded Private] )

( [Warded to Joanna] )


Some of you people need hobbies. Lots of hobbies. Sturgis Podmore and I will not be wrestling. We will not be wrestling in mud. We will not be wrestling in oil. And we sure as hell won't be wrestling naked.

[Warded to Joanna]

I don't suppose your brother's mystery girlfriend is Caoimhe Sullivan, is it?

Not sure if he's surfaced long enough to tell you but she and a young man named Remus Lupin were hurt in that attack on Diagon Alley the other night. Sullivan's pretty badly hurt but it looks like she'll pull through. Your brother has set up shop in the waiting room so I'd say his secret is out.

[/Ward]

[Warded to Sturgis]

You know you really can be very sweet at times.


It's frightening.


And don't forget to shower, change your clothes and shave. You don't want to knock her out with your odour or appearance when she finally comes round.

[/Ward]

[Warded Private]

Barty Crouch Jr. Well, fuck me.

The old man's going to be in a foul mood until we get an answer to this. For once I don't blame him.

[/Ward]

I'm looking forward to Hogmanay. It's a pretty big celebration in my family and Merlin help anyone who drags me away from it because of any sort of rammy, ye ken? I'll no be happy and you're liable to get my fist in your face followed by some sort of unpleasant spell (but not the damn Killing Curse, thank you very much).

On a slightly better note, this wee fellow appeared on the end of my bed this morning. His arrival was a little late because the owners of his Mum were away for Christmas. His name is Wee Jock and I think he's my Mum's attempt to curb my workaholic tendencies.

( Photograph )

( [Warded Private] )

[Warded to Aurors]

Am I the only one with some serious misgivings about this?

[/Ward]

( [Warded Private] )

[Warded to Gawain]

Don’t know when you’re going to see this or even if you’re going to see this and I’ll probably tell you this to your face anyway but      thanks.

And yes, I’m drunk. Or sort of drunk and getting drunker. So what?

[/Ward]

[Warded to Sturgis, Edgar, Frank, Joanna & Calypso]

I’m not allowed to arrest sanctimonious, petulant little twats who talk about things they don’t know shit about, am I?

Also, don’t tell Stella I’m drinking. She’ll yell at me and she sounded scarily like my mother last night.

Also, when I’m not being pissed off by sanctimonious, petulant little twats, I’m bored. Anyone know how Gawain is?

[/Ward]

( [Warded Private] )

[Warded to the DMLE]
Unofficial report - Crap. And ouch.

And where the fuck do these people learn to use Unforgiveables? And what makes them think they can throw them around like it's Christmas? (Ignoring the fact it almost is Christmas, it's a figure of speech, people!)

Also Gawain Robards is a prince of a man and I appreciate him today a whole lot more than I did yesterday. His timing is impeccable.

Oh, and Hope? My most darling, precious and lovely Hope. I'm going to be off for two days. The healers say three but I don't think it's that bad and the salve they gave me is working fine so let's just say two. Or perhaps one. Can you send me the paperwork for the injury leave? And any other paperwork I'm going to have to fill out? Might as well do something useful to stave off the boredom.
[/Ward]

( [Warded Private] )

[Warded to Joanna]

I don't suppose I can convince you to stay at my place tonight? You can call me a chauvinistic, over-protective pig if you like but I know my wards and I'd like to know you'll be safe. I don't know if I'm going to get home tonight. I think we're going to be out patrolling en masse.

If it helps any, I'm going around to Mum and Dad's and Diarmad and Lizzy's places today to upgrade their wards.

[/Ward]

[Warded to Edgar, Frank & Alex]

You lot okay? No bites, scratches, anything else to make me kick your arse for not being careful?

If not, go home and get some sleep. That's an order from your squad leader. I will kick you out of here if I have to. It's going to be a long night tonight and I want you all alert and as well-rested as possible.

[/Ward]

My thoughts go out to all those affected by last night. Can everyone just fucking well stay inside tonight? And ward their homes?

And thanks to everyone at the Upper Crust Bakery. We may just make it through the day now.

Why, oh why, oh why, do people buy Dark artefacts - illegal Dark artefacts at that - then whinge and complain when said Dark artefact turns around and bites them on the arse? Literally in this case. And why, oh why, oh why, do I then get handed the case when I can't laugh at them for buying illegal Dark artefacts that bite them on the arse?

Still I suppose it could have been worse. The artefact could have done something a lot more unpleasant than bite this guy on the arse. In fact I gave him many detailed examples of worse cases as I was arresting him.

Oh, and yes, we were able to remove the Dark artefact from his arse.

[Warded to the DMLE]

Quick! Someone give me a reason to not go to dinner with my parents this weekend.

Bugger. There's less than six weeks to Christmas. That means I should probably start thinking about presents for the family now instead of waiting until Christmas Eve, right? Though then again, why change the habit of a lifetime?

( [Warded Private] )